A Mildly Coherent Statement of Faith

I get it... What a stupid fucking name for a blog. I suspect you're thinking something like, "I've heard of OMG, Om Namah Shivaya, Om Mani Padme Hum, Om Shanti Shanti Shanti, Om Sat Tat, and all sorts of other weird chanty stuff that yogis do but Om Namah... Sriracha? WTF?"

Alright, here goes... a mildy coherent statement of faith.

I believe in a magical bottle of hotsauce that rides around on a baby giraffe. Yes, you just read that. Some people believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, Jesus, Hindu Divinities, the whole nine yards, for whatever reason, this works for me. Not sure why, but it does. <---Lie.

Here is a fairly quick rundown as to why this works for me. I grew up in the church. Nice people, whatever, didn't work for me. Some stuff happened that wasn't all that great. I found a really open spiritual practice with some great ideas on how to live a life that is worthwhile. Someone told me to find a concept of something bigger than me to ask for guidance.

At first, I took that literally. The drop in ceiling grid was it. Later, I found something a little less literal, Howard the Artist (Our Father who art in heaven, Howard be thy name). Yeah, jokes. Currently, the Holy Baby Sriracha (Sri meaning "Mister" or "Lord" depending on context and Racha which is Thai for Raja or "Royal") and, his bitchin' ride, Raffe the Giraffe of Non-Judgement, hear my prayers.

I am madly in love with Sriracha Sauce (aka The Holy Baby, Herr Spicy, The Spicy Goodness, The Radness, The Great Something or Other, and a whole host of other names) and choose to call it my strong tower for several reasons:

1. It's really fucking tasty.
2. The power and glory flow through me. (Take that as you will.)
3. Someone once told me spicy food is peace food and, Sriracha knows, I could use a whole lot of peace and serenity.
4. It is benevolent in flavor, spicy but not excessively so.
5. The Holy Baby has a rooster as a logo, automatically LGBT friendly. (Flaming cock, anyone?)
6. There is always more. No matter how much is used, the tasty goodness is available at the local supermarket. I can get GOD in a BOTTLE and it doesn't cause delusion or incomprehensible demoralization. (That's everything I always wanted.)

As for Raffe the Giraffe of Non-Judgement, who the fuck wouldn't want a giraffe that doesn't judge? It's kind of a Ganesh-Mooshika relationship. Ganesh is kickass and his rat-vehicle is equally badass because he associates with Ganesh and he's a rat. Raffe associates with The Holy Baby, inherently fucking awesome.

Maybe it makes sense, maybe not. Don't really give a shit. Hope you enjoyed, more to come later.